What Recovery Looks Like In My Mirror

I look in the mirror
And what do I see
A girl I don't recognize
Is reflecting me

This girl looks sad
Withdrawn and depressed
Even with the smile on her face
And being well dressed

When you look in her eyes
You can see past the mask
This once carefree girl
Is now a thing of the past

She doesn't let her insides show
She keeps them bottled up inside
But those who really know her
Don't take this in stride

They ask her with concern
"Is everything ok,"
But she just shrugs her shoulders
And brushes them away

But everything is NOT ok
Her eating disorder won't leave her be
Taunting her at all hours
Not a second of reprieve

He disgusts and degrades her
Tells her she's worthless
Till she begins to believe it
And feels like a mess

So she puts on a mask
To hide her emotions
Lest people see what she's feeling
And see past her production

Cuz that's what she does
Acts, plays, performs
Hides her true self
Doesn't know who she is anymore

But then I start on a journey
A journey of recovery
A journey of taking off the mask
And letting the whole world see

This path that I'm taking
Is full of bumps along the way
It's never easy
But I trudge on anyway

It's hard work to take off the mask
And show the real me
But it's better than living
In a false reality

Through pain, tears, and struggles
I keep moving ahead
I know I will be victorious
All the way till the end

It's a seemingly endless battle
But hang on to hope till the end
Even through the twists in the road
Yes, it'll turn, it'll bend

But I keep on reminding myself
Never to lose faith and hope
I know I have the ability within me
The ability to cope

I know I can do this
I am a fighter, I am strong
Even when this fight
Feels way too long

H.O.P.E stands for
Hang On Pain Ends
My pain will too
My life will mend

And in a few years time
I will look back at this
And see how I've grown
From this experience

It will make it all worth it
And I'll see that I'm worth it too
I'll feel good about myself
I'll have confidence anew

But till then I have to
keep holding on
Never give up
Always remain strong 

LR