Nighttime Warrior

The day is done
The sun goes down
Silence reigns
upon the town

Although everyone else
Has gone to bed
I can't because of
The voices in my head

This is when they begin
To yell loudly at me
They don't stop
They scream ruthlessly

Worthless, ugly, fat
Is only just the start
With each insult
Going straight to my heart

I'm my worst enemy
Instead of my best friend
I can't stop the taunts
I can't make them end

Not only in my head
But in my chest and stomach too
I'm being betrayed by my body
But this is nothing new

Every night
Without fail
The anxiety comes
It never bails

It takes over my body
Knotting me up all around
Till it's choking me
I can't make a sound

I can't scream, can't cry
Can't whisper or yell      
I'm consumed by this monster
Its one I know well  

It's the monster of my eating disorder
That remains dormant during the day
Till the sky turns dark
Then he's here to stay

It comes in two forms
Anxiety and voices in my brain
That become unbearable at night
I feel I'm going insane

But it's not impossible
To overcome these things
I can get myself back
I can sprout new wings

I'll begin by telling myself
That I am in control
Although at times I don't feel it
It's always in my soul

I am in control of my self
My body and mind
I am strong and can do this
Put all my fears behind

Push the voices
Out of my head
Far far away
I send them instead

I replace those thought
To make me feel better
Body positive, self love
I'm great, a goal getter

As far as the anxiety
I take deep breaths
To stop the knotting
And the feeling of death

Four in, hold seven
Out eight and repeat
Till my nerves calm down
And I feel complete

The knots begin to unravel
Till they are no longer there
I am back to myself
The real me is here

My eating disorder will try again
Night after night
But I won't let it get me
I'll try with all my might

Cuz I am a warrior
I can eradicate this completely
I will overcome this
Just watch me, you'll see!

LR